HALLOWEEN HORRORSCOPE

SCORPIO:  You are shrewd in business, because you are manipulative. With your total lack of ethics, you will reach the pinnacle of success. Most Scorpios are murdered.

SAGITTARIUS:  You rely almost entirely on luck since you lack talent. Your tendency to be reckless makes you a good drunk or drug addict. Sagittarian's die with people laughing at them.

CAPRICORN:  You are a born leader, but you live in fear of taking risks. Avoid standing still too long. You are likely to take root and become a tree. Capricorn's die talking to themselves.

AQUARIUS:  You love humanity, but have no idea how to have a relationship. Since you are very impractical, people think you are stupid. Aquarian's get run over by a vehicles due to bad judgment.

PISCES:  You are a visionary that has paranoid delusions and often think you are being followed. Since you are a coward, you pick on small animals. Pisces die of starvation while getting lost at the mall.

ARIES:  You're a delightful child that is lucky you can dress yourself. Quick tempered and impatient, you would be a pioneer if you weren't so scornful of other people's advice. Aries die in the woods looking for mushrooms.

TAURUS:  You are strong as an ox, but shaped like a potato which you love to eat. You expect too much for too little. You are cheap. You will die when someone mistakes you for a rock and parks too close to you.

GEMINI:  You are intelligent in the way that sub-atomic particles are intelligent. Few people take you seriously, because they can't understand what you are saying. You will be killed by a flying tomato.

CANCER:  You have a strong sense of family. You are known for committing incest. If there is anything to put off until tomorrow, you will. Cancer's die on welfare.

LEO:  You are a born leader. You bully people. It's only the best for you as you thrive on luxury. Leo's die when someone pushes them off their yacht -- the one in foreclosure.

VIRGO:  No one is a better worker than a Virgo. You're picky and hate disorder. Virgo's die bending over to pick up other people's trash.

LIBRA:  Libra's are known for their beauty. You are bi-sexual. People listen to you, because you say what they want to hear. You would make a good diplomat or prostitute.  Libra's die when both lovers show up at once.

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