IT'S A CONSPIRACY. WHO TOOK AWAY MY SUPPORT SYSTEM? AND WHY?

It's the Little Things That Keep Us Going When Life Gets Tough

There are women all over the country having withdrawals. I remember so well the last time — the last stroll through my five minute getaway. I remember saying to myself, I just need a couple of things. But what I really needed was fast and easy retail therapy. Are we born with it? This need to hunt and gather.

It seemed just like a regular day going in. Get a quick dopamine hit and then back to reality. But I was noticing something. I was suspicious. Things were always getting moved around so nothing new about that, but missing? I needed pens. And they simply weren’t there. Then sponges. Nope. Couldn’t find them either. I felt a disturbing sense of uneasiness as I unwittingly checked out for the last time.

The minute I got home I called a fellow addict. How many mornings did we check in with each other as to what was the latest? What new item did we need to explore, buy in quantities, tell the others about? What’s happening with the 99 Cent Store? The news was not good. Women everywhere were mourning the loss. No man would understand. It’s a girl thing — this need to keep the nest in tea tree oil, Post Its, a little cacti for the guest room. Tissue paper? Who thinks of tissue paper? We do!

Right now there’s a loaf of Dave’s Killer Bread waiting for me in a friend’s freezer, because my store doesn’t carry it. It was like that. We looked out for each other. Boomchickapop was mine. I discovered it. I told everyone about it. $1.

I walked around my apartment in a daze thinking this and this and, of course, this. The little things. The things you never give much thought to but when they’re missing, you’re bummed. The condiments: Ketchup, mustard, mayo in little tiny jars. Cleaning products that work just as well as the higher priced stuff. Sponges. Plastic bins to put things in. Holiday decorations on the cheap: Plastic forks, paper plates, pretty napkins to match. Birthday candles, cake mix, and for one dollar? Icing. And glue. I truly did love the Crazy Glue.

I ate so many salad kits, I kept the industry afloat. Why was this treasure going away? Was it me? Did I do something wrong? My friend, Gena, admitted to complaining about the inventory. “You didn’t? How could you? Maybe YOU are the reason this is happening?” Then I realized, blaming each other won’t bring it back. Attacking my friends was not the solution.

There’s a network of women out there who know exactly what I’m talking about. Smoked oysters on rye crackers. Fresh berries. For God’s sake, my “Nope” coffee cups! It’s truly a tragedy of epic proportions. How will we cope? Talking helps I’ve been told.

Oh, but there are other 99 cent stores. Not the same. Nowhere in the City of Los Angeles, well, maybe the woman at Rite Aid, that says to me, “Where have you been? We missed you.” And I had to admit cheating with another store down the street. I felt bad. I really did. But sometimes one store is just not enough.

Now there are none. Lesson learned. Cheaters never win… and don’t love anything too much…

For your own private crisis, please contact melanie@xtrology.com. But if you really want to reach me, call/text 323 640-8660. And please visit Xtrology on Facebook and Twitter where I post the Moon’s aspects. Every. Single. Day. For Instagram, it’s xtrology_of_hollywood. Your questions and comments are welcome.