BEN AFFLECK HOW TO HANDLE A BAD BOY
Astrology Is Not For Millionaires, It's For Billionaires and the Women Who Love Them
How to handle a bad boy? Or a bad, rich, talented, accomplished, sexy man? What mistakes did Jennifer Lopez make, because she made it clear she wanted this to work? And what about Jennifer Garner?
So Ben Affleck. He’s a Leo with his Mercury there. He likes attention. Often negative attention. He was drawn to the entertainment world, a very Leo thing, where he excels. And he is really good at getting people to talk about him. He has the “bad boy” Moon in Scorpio. First of all, Scorpio Moons take names. Do them wrong in any slight way, and you will pay the price for it. You must leave them alone. Do your own thing. But never, ever tell them what to do.
To make matters worse, he has Mars as a focal planet. He isn’t going to do anything because you want him to. So just shut up. Or pick someone else. You need to have your own life, be busy and leave him to sort out his own stuff. You absolutely can’t make him over and still come out of it with him liking you. Even if you have children with him you must tell them, your dad isn’t like anyone else. This is who your father is. Even they get what they get. And the kids can handle it. They will catch on much faster than you will.
You can let him know who you are. That’s the only thing you’ve got. Over time, he might listen and strangely, he may volunteer to do exactly what you want. Because he will know what it is. It will just be in his time.
And if there is a single thing that is completely off the menu, its a huge wedding. That will never fly. Unless and until he’s ready — which will be never. It’s not the kind of attention he enjoys. It’s not about him. If you’re that girl, marry someone else.
Men like this often go through a period of being what everyone else wants them to be. They play the part of the normal man for awhile — often a good chunk of years, Jennifer Garner. But once he does that and he is convinced it’s not for him, you will never ever, no matter what extreme you go to, get him to do it again.
He needs space. As women, we want to cuddle. We want a friend. We want to roll up each other’s hair. Scorpio Moons are not your friends. You may even have to put up with infidelity. He’s the one that has to figure out the stupidity of that. I’m not saying you can’t be angry, but if you fly off the handle and divorce him, he will just suck it up. He won’t come crawling back no matter how much he realizes it was, in fact, a mistake. He likes mistakes when they are his.
He never set out to hurt you. He must, though, have his way and as much control as he can get without working too hard. Especially over his own life. But he would like also to control you — without him actually requesting it.
He’s attracted to women of good character. It’s one of the ways you dig into his psyche. And you may be able to carve out little areas that are yours — like decorating the home or what food he eats or where the children go to camp. Consider that a victory and let the rest alone. It’s the best you’re going to do.
How to keep him AKA what did Jennifer Lopez did wrong?
Anything you can work out before the marriage especially finances, where you live, etc. likely he will keep those decisions. If you want a big house, have a good reason. The only time you can make demands is before you marry. Get a prenup.
Be your authentic self. He could have respected Jenny from the Block. This high fashion model? The music star narcissist? The entourage? Nope. You are setting yourself up
Don’t ever, not for a moment, use him to pump up your image. That’s a guaranteed crash and burn.
Don’t overlook his moods. But walk away. Don’t ignore it, but don’t address it. One photo with his sour face, and you never take pictures with him again. Don’t ever apologize for him. You didn’t notice and you don’t care. Just get busy. You don’t like it, but you don’t criticize it either. Make yourself scarce. Subconsciously, he knows he shouldn’t be doing that. He might stop embarrassing you. Ask him if he wants to show up and if he doesn’t, go without him. But do ask him or you will find yourself leading separate lives. Even beg, just a little. That amuses him.
Chase him around. Be affectionate with him. Treat him like a child. Worry about his health — if he’s getting enough sleep, when he needs to go to the dentist, that stuff. But don’t force him. Just suggest. Act like a woman but only until he’s had enough.
If he fucks up, let him sleep it off. No matter how many times. The more you try to change him, the more he is emotionally leaving you and when he does, he will thrive without you and that will, I promise, kill you. He might agree to marriage counseling, but never to seeing a therapist on his own. Deep down, he thinks there is nothing wrong with him. If you’re falling into line, he might try to save the relationship.
Don’t marry him if you aren’t the one. And don’t expect him to say it.
He won’t respect you if you: Need him too much, let him verbally or physically hurt you or your children or act jealous
A great example of this kind of relationship that is working — is Melania Trump, married to the former president of the United States.
She didn’t work it all out before marrying Donald Trump, but she was thought to get a new prenup upon entering the White House and an upgrade upon leaving the White House
She is very much her authentic self. She knows who she is and what she will and won’t do
She didn’t seek fame, and yet she became the First Lady of the United States!
She doesn’t completely overlook his moods. And she does choose not to show up as a way to show her disapproval
She makes requests But there is no doubt in my mind, she knows he may or may not acquiesce
Trump fucks up all the time. Melania ignores it, mostly. I don’t know if they ever went to counseling. That’s a big maybe for me, but they might have. In his case, it probably didn’t make much difference
She’s clearly the one
Trump respects Melania. She doesn’t need him too much. She has her own life which she actually prefers. And she doesn’t let him physically or verbally hurt her or her son. To be honest, I’ll bet this has happened somewhere along the line. But he knows better. She has made it clear this is a boundary. And she isn’t jealous
Relationships like this are hard. So decide how deep your commitment goes. Some women are attracted to this type, but have no idea how to deal with it. Other women, especially those who primarily are looking for lifestyle, are much more inclined to get with the program. It’s a specialty. Very often you’re dealing with a narcissist, Trump, or a covert narcissist, Ben Affleck. The very worst of the worsts. But the Trumps, the Ben Affects will come home to you.
And there is an up side. You may have grown up with narcissism. And it has a certain panache. He may be very successful and command a great deal of respect. He will act like a man. You don’t have to entertain him. He won’t make demands — just judgments. He will never be clingy. Sex is hot, sometimes. You have the man every other woman can’t get. He picked you, because you’re the best. It’s a high complement. Women flock to these men. And maybe you can’t handle a trad marriage.
Jennifer Garner did it mostly right as the long term wife. She just got tired of the drinking, gambling and checking out. She needed to make a decision for herself and her children. But notice she didn’t tell him not to be with JLo. He would have loved that, the jealousy, but liked her less for it. Garner played it right. Tried to help them. That really threw Ben off. He began to “love” her more which in his case is much closer to respect. He doesn’t really know what love is.
I’m surprised JLo, also with a Scorpio Moon, didn’t get into a cat fight. Between her ego and her anger, she had to be tempted. But it isn’t about who is the bigger movie star or who is the prettiest or even the most fun to be with or the sexiest. It is who understands him on a deep intrinsic level. And who would allow him the thing he can’t live without — space. If Garner were still available, he’d be trying to get her back. Did I mention these guys can’t be alone? They want space, but can’t be alone. Yep. Many contradictions.
For your own private reading, contact melanie@xtrology.com. Or if you really want to reach me, call/text 323 640-8660. And please visit Xtrology on Facebook and X where I post the Moon’s aspects. Every. Single. Day. For Instagram, it’s xtrology-of-hollywood. Your comments and questions are welcome.
UPDATE: A big surprise for me was that Melania has a Capricorn Moon. A time will come when it’s her, not him, very similar to Jeff Bezos by the way, that walks away. And as Cap Moons do, it will be when it hurts.
UPDATE2: From a 1999 Playboy interview:
